The Onion: Hillary Clinton To Nation- ‘Do Not Fuck This Up For Me’


Source:The Onion– Secretary Hillary R. Clinton: 2016 Democratic presidential candidate.

“WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in.”

From The Onion

“Rush Limbaugh (4/13/15): “This is ‘The Onion.’ ‘The Onion’ doesn’t normally make fun of leftists, and they just nailed her in this. I’m telling you, they got it. This is the Nurse Ratched. The Onion mocks Hillary Clinton. Limbaugh raves.”

From A-Taxin

'The Onion' mocks Hillary Clinton_ Limbaugh raves

Source:A-Taxin– Secretary Hillary R. Clinton: 2016 Democratic presidential candidate.

Hillary Clinton would be smart to watch her fucking language while on the campaign trail while she’s running for president. I mean god dammit, she’ll probably already win the HBO and Showtime, as well as Cinemax and IFC audience anyway. So who does she think she’s going to win over with her fucking cussing. Her last name is Clinton, she’s a Democrat, a female, she’s not a Republican and oh by the way, her last name is not Bush. I mean, she probably already has the like totally awesome OMG crowd in her back pocket anyway.

But she did vote for President Bush’s wars and national security policies. So that could cost her votes with the “just always give peace a chance, violence is never the answer, unless it comes from the people”, vote. But how does she expect to win the Christian Right and Birther vote cussing her cute little ass off? She needs to be smart about these things.

Hillary Clinton is the ultimate opportunist Democratic politician. Not that different from Flip Flopper, I mean Mitt Romney. Which means if it is popular and it won’t cost her votes with people she needs in order to be successful, she’s also in favor of it.

But for an opportunist politician to win someone who is in business to be popular with everybody without losing anybody, you gotta be smart. You can’t say things that will piss off one crowd even if it pleases another. What you do is tell one crowd one thing, but keep that secret, while you tell the opposite crowd something else, so you don’t lose them. You don’t put together videos especially your campaign announcement cussing your ass off risking losing potential voters. What you do is launch multiple campaign announcements to different crowds. And give each crowd the message that they want to here. As if it is your sole message to voters. That is how a smart opportunist politician is successful.

About Erik Schneider

Full-time blogger on a multiple ray of topics and subjects, because of multiple interests.
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1 Response to The Onion: Hillary Clinton To Nation- ‘Do Not Fuck This Up For Me’

  1. Pingback: The Onion: Hillary Clinton To Nation- ‘Do Not Fuck This Up For Me | The Daily Press

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