“I’m getting worried that Senator Bernie Sanders is fading in the polls.
That doesn’t make me happy. I want Crazy Bernie to stay relevant.
Why? Because he’s an endless source of clever satire.
Previous editions of Bernie humor can be found here and here.
For today’s edition, let’s start with the fact that Bernie has used political office to become a millionaire, yet he doesn’t put his money where his mouth is (the federal government actually has a website for people who are foolish enough to pay extra tax).”
Read more from Dan Mitchell
“Comedy has gone into overdrive after outsiders Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump each had sweeping victories in the New Hampshire primary. Jimmy Fallon unveiled a spot-on impression of Sanders on The Tonight Show on Wednesday night. He had his audience hysterical as he spoofed the Vermont Senator’s speech, joking: “I’m speaking tonight to claim victory in the New Hampshire primary over she who must not be named.” The audience went wild as the real Bernie Sanders made a surprise appearance.”
I truly believe that Bernie Sanders is one of the most if not most honest politicians who has ever lived. Which I know that’s like saying Yao Ming is the tallest man in China, or Toronto is the hottest city in Canada, the salad is the healthiest meal on the McDonald’s menu, or someone is the sanest person at the mental institution, hopefully you get the drift by now. ( If not, seek help ) Obviously there are not a lot of honest politicians. The common stereotype of a politician is that they’ll say whatever they need to say to help themselves at the given time, even if they don’t mean a word of it. But Bernie Sanders, is not just an honest politician he’s an honest man, so for that I just don’t respect the man, but actually like him for his candor and very quick sense of humor.
But here comes a big but: ( No, not that butt ) Bernie, comes off as a traveling salesman, or conman even, like used car salesman who promises people everything and tells them that it will be free and says he has all of this stuff to give you or Elizabeth Warren who has plans for problems that haven’t even been invented yet ( the only psychic to ever run for President ) and doesn’t give you the catch until he’s asked about it. “Senator Sanders, with these record deficits and debt: how are you going to pay for all of these free programs?” With Senator Sanders answer always be something to the affect: “well of course taxes are going to go up. I never said these programs are going to be free.”
Well, actually Bernie did, because the way Socialists tend to think is that if someone doesn’t have to pay for a service in the private market, because they’re getting it from government, that those services are free, because they’re not paying some business for them. What they always leave out is that taxes are actually money and charges that government gives its people for the services that they receive.
If you went to a bar and the bartender said: “every drink is on the house: now, who’s buying?” You would think the bartender is either joking, or perhaps drunk on the stuff that they’re supposed to be selling. That the bartender either had a few too many before they showed up for work, or while they were at work. Imagine a drunk bartender at a bar and he or she asks one of their customers: “what will you have?” With the customer replying: “I’ll have whatever you’re drinking, if there is anything left.” Bernie and his Socialist allies, come off as snake oil or used car salesmen ( or women. For you PC freaks ) as people that are selling things that are too good to be true, because they are too good to be true.